Shall We Touch?
by EE's Skysong
Summary: The Xmen get word that there's a device that negates mutant powers. So, Remy, Rogue, Kitty, Kurt and Logan all head to Europe to collect it. But then of course the jet crashes and insanity ensues... sequel to Shall We Dance?
1. Beatiful day to crash, isn't it?

Super Disclaimer: I own neither U2 nor Evo. My life sucks.

(An: Well, it seems that listening to U2's song "Beautiful Day" gave me the proper inspiration for this fic. Hmm, so yes.)

**The heart is a bloom**

**Shoots up through the stony ground**

**There's no room**

**No space to rent in this town**

**You're out of luck**

**And the reason that you had to care**

**The traffic is stuck**

**And you're not moving anywhere**

**You thought you'd found a friend**

**To take you out of this place**

**Someone you could lend a hand**

**In return for grace**

**It's a beautiful day**

**Sky falls, you feel like**

**It's a beatiful day**

**Don't let it get away**

Rogue and Remy were stretched out in their preferred position, Rogue on top of Remy, both of them on Remy's bed. (Minds- out of gutter, now!) They were both enjoying a nice snooze when a voice echoed in their heads. 'Remy, Rogue, I'd like to see you in my office.'

Neither one moved.

'My office, please?'

Remy twitched in his sleep but other than that there was no reaction from the sleepy teens.

'NOW!!!'

Both teens sat up with a start and ended up on the floor. "How do we always end up like this?" asked Rogue, her voice muffled by the carpet.

"Don' ask m', I jus' live here," replied Remy, who was on his back.

'AHEM!'

They stood up hurriedly and skidded down to the professor's study, Remy stifling a yawn. Kurt gave them a Cheshire cat-esque grin from his perch on the back of a chair. He and Kitty were already in there.

The professor smiled at them as both sat down. "Good to see you're awake," he said, his voice only slightly teasing. "Now then, business." He shuffled through a few papers on his desk, until he found a printed copy of an email. "Ah, here we go. Now, according to this, one of Hank's old colleagues has discovered technology that blocks mutant pow-"

"YES!!!!" shouted Rogue and Remy in the same instant, then both looked extremely embarrassed.

The professor cleared his throat, looking miffed.

"Go on, go on," said Rogue, with as much dignity as she could muster.

The professor nodded and continued. "As I was **saying**, the point is that he's discovered a power negater, and thought that Rogue would be a good person to test it out on."

"So?" asked the teens in the room.

"I'm getting to that," said the professor. "So we're sending you all to Europe with Logan to collect it."

Kurt stood up and began to do the "Kurt Dance", in other words a little victory/joy dance that involved arm-waving, tail-snapping, and revolving in a circle. Kitty looked mortified.

"What's he doin'?" whispered Remy to Rogue, who had yet to be let in on this particular joke.

Rogue had a hand on her forehead. She sighed and shook her head. "It's the 'Kurt Dance'," she explained. "He does it whenevah he's excited, or wins something, or whatevah."

Remy nodded, still looking rather confused.

The professor stared for a second, looking as though he'd been slapped, and then regained his composure. He did the "meaningful throat-clear" which made Kurt stop and look rather sheepish.

"Er, _ja_," said Kurt with a nervous smile, rubbing the back of his neck.

"**Any**way, I wanted to inform you that you're leaving at-" he checked the clock (it was 12:34), "-at 3 so you'd best get packing."

Kitty zoomed out of the room.

"Was she on de track team or somethin'?" asked Remy, staring down the hallway after her, looking impressed.

"No, but she should be. All they'd havta do is tell her that there's a gift certificate for a shoppin' spree at the end and she'd win, no contest," said Rogue.

2:54

In the mansion's garage there was the sound of continuous bamfing as Kurt 'ported the luggage into the X-jet. He finished and leaned against the van, panting.

"Poor fuzzy," said Kitty, shaking her head.

"Can I pass out now?" asked Kurt, looking dazed.

"Not until ya get in the jet," said Rogue, walking in. "Ah ain't carryin' ya."

"Nice to know I can always count on _meine sweister,_" said Kurt, his voice quite dry. (I am -aware- I spelled that wrong but I don't feel like looking it up so sue me.)

"Ah, cheer up," said Remy, who had also just walked in. "At least y'r relatives don' wan' t' fix y' up wit' a soul-suckin' leech."

"_Ja, _but they're still my parents, and they still know everything about me. If we have to go down to Germany I'll never be able to show my face around any of you again," said Kurt, looking mortified.

Logan came in, twirling the keys to the X-jet. "You kids ready to go?"

"Yeah," said the four teens in unison.

Logan muttered something (it sounded like "Damn, that's creepy") and climbed into the X-jet, the others following him.

Remy picked a window seat that was close to the collection of barf bags. He got the impression that everyone was hiding smirks at this. "I hate planes," he muttered, leaning his head against the nice cool window.

"It's a **jet**," said Logan, getting into the pilot's seat.

"They all look the same from the inside of a bag," said Rogue.

Remy moved his head from the window long enough to give her a death glare and then leaned back against it with a moan.

"Remy vs. the plane, round two!" said Kurt.

"Why can't you all just shut up?" said Remy.

"We haven't even, like, taken off yet!" said Kitty.

"Yes, but I know what's coming, as does my breakfast," replied Remy.

"Spare us the details, I beg," said Rogue, leaning back in her seat and not bothering to hide her grin.

"No sympathy?" asked Remy, giving Rogue puppy-demon eyes.

"Nope, not in the real world," replied Rogue.

"That's pathetic," said Kurt and Logan in unison.

"And dat's creepy," replied Remy in kind and then quickly shut up as the jet took off.

A FEW HOURS LATER

The Beatles began blasting through the speakers rather abruptly. "What's up wit' de music?" asked Remy, able to speak now that the jet was normal.

"It's classic," said Rogue, Kurt, and Logan all at the same time.

"You know, when they act like that it is possible to see a, like, resemblance," said Kitty, cocking her head.

Remy put his head in the same postion. "Y' know, y're right..."

"Hmmm... do you think Rogue could be, like, related to Logan somehow?" asked Kitty quietly. "They look alike, sort of."

Remy twitched. "I hope not," he said with a shiver.

"Like, why?"

"Kitty, t'ink 'bout it. 'M datin' Rogue. Put de pieces together."

"...I guess that would be kind of awkward, seeing how he threatens to gut you on a daily basis," said Kitty.

"Perceptive, aren't you," said Remy. He was about to go on and then didn't, reaching for the barf bags as the jet lurched. "I hope dat wasn't a personal comment," he muttered.

"Uh-oh," said three other voices at once.

"What's wit' de 'uh-oh'? I don' t'ink I like 'uh-oh'," said Remy, looking up at the people in front.

"That's what," said Logan, pointing to the fuel gauge, which was creeping towards empty.

There was another unpleasant lurch as the plane went into a nose dive.

The landing was rather unpleasant, to say the least. The jet was more or less trashed, but no one was hurt.

"How far would it be ta walk?" asked Rogue, looking at what was left of the jet.

(It's short and I'm aware of that but I wanted to get this out of my head. I'll be pretty prompt about the updates, just don't expect everyday ones. I need to work out some bits of this.)


	2. Welcome to Scotland, isn't it fun being ...

(An: Once more into the field must we hence! Run for the hills while you still can! ...yes I've been watching Yellow Submarine, so sue me. All right, I'm pullin' in a char from the 'mics, Moira Mc-whatever (is it McTaggert? I don't really remember). I believe I got her facts right (castle, scientist, Scottish, ect.) but if I didn't... I give you full right to flame me, but only on that subject. Oh yes, slight error: I only -just- decided to use Moira because I didn't feel like making up an OC... so the 'hes' in the last chapter are now 'shes' thank you.

Di: Ahem, I wrote it missy, it belongs to -me- but maybe if you're good and do another chapter of Culture Shock (and be a bit quicker about your chappies) I might dedicate a chappy or two to you.

HH: ...No, I just like torturing him. Seriously, it's fun!

S-O-C: It's the grudge match of the century! ...I think.. I just liked that phrase.

ME: I have two reviewers using that name now. Weirdness. Ahem, but anyway: Good guesses! But no, Logan's not related to Rogue, I just wanted to use that joke for some reason.

Ishy: Puppydemon eyes, like Remy vs. the plane, is a running joke with me. Pay enough attention and you will see most in almost all of my stories with situations where such could be used.

me: There it is, the first update poke! -pops a cork-)

"I don't suggest we try to walk," said Kurt, joining his sister in staring at the jet. "It's a good long way to- where were we going again?"

Logan snorted. "We were goin' to Scotland."

"So where are we?" asked Remy, not bothering to look at the jet.

Logan looked around, sniffed the air a few times, and frowned (well his natural scowl got deeper). "..I don't know."

"Mark it down, de great badger's lost!" crowed Remy.

"I'm **not** lost, I just... don't know where we are."

"Same t'ing!"

"Ah, shuddup Gumbo," muttered Logan.

Remy did shut up but he kept an infuriating smirk.

Logan muttered something like, "I still don't see why it wouldn't be a crime to gut him," and started trying to figure out where they were again.

ABOUT TWENTY MINUTES LATER

"We're, like, doomed, aren't we," said Kitty, watching the three men argue over their position.

"Yep," said Rogue, shaking her head. "Why don't we just ask for DIRECTIONS?!" she shouted at the guys.

They blinked and then said in unison, "We're not lost." They looked surprised for a second, and then went back to arguing.

"Men," said Rogue, shaking her head again.

ANOTHER TWENTY MINUTES LATER

"All right," said Logan. "We're lost."

"NOW can we ask someone for directions?!" said Rogue.

"NO!" chorused all of the men.

STILL ANOTHER TWENTY MINUTES LATER

The boredom set in.

"Hey, Rogue," said Kitty, watching the guys, "you think if I, like, said I saw something in the woods they'd go away for awhile so we could, like, ask directions?"

"Maybe," said Rogue, in the same position. "Jeez, can they evah argue."

YET ANOTHER TWENTY MINUTE INCREMENT OF TIME LATER

Rogue stood up in disgust. "That's it, Ah'm walkin'! Scotland can't be that far!"

"Rogue!" said all the guys in unison.

"Aw, come on, c_here_," said Remy in the best pleading "I love you" tone he could manage under such conditions, "We've almost figured it out!"

"Didn't you, like, say that an hour ago?!" said Kitty.

The guys blinked at her.

In the absence of attention, Rogue made good on her promise and began to walk off.

Nobody noticed. The guys were too busy arguing and Kitty was too busy laughing at them all.

ABOUT FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER

"...Rogue? Rogue?" said Remy, looking around.

"Uh-oh," said Kitty, looking around.

"'M really startin' t' hate uh-ohs," said Remy, sitting on a rock.

"Rogue's gone!" said Logan, stating the obvious.

"WE KNOW!" shouted Kitty and Remy.

"Rogue's gone?!" asked Kurt, looking up from the complicated map of western Europe he was drawing in the dirt.

"YES," said Logan, who looked as though he was getting a migraine. "She's gone."

"Oh, you guys didn't, like, notice? She walked off a while ago, muttering about guys," said Kitty.

"Y' mean y' KNEW?!" snapped Remy, standing up.

"Like, duh," said Kitty calmly. "She yelled at you guys and then headed down that way." She thumbed behind her.

"And you didn' tell us dis WHY?!"

"Like, don't have a heart attack, Remy," said Kitty, who was now inspecting her nails. "She can't have walked, like, that far. Maybe she found someone who, like, knows where we are."

"Y've been neglectin' her trainin', badger," said Remy, giving everyone impartial glares. "Y' have yet t' beat de optimism out've her."

"Believe me, I've tried," said Logan, shaking his head. He sniffed the air, then set off after Rogue, the others in hot pursuit.

FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER

They found Rogue in avid conversation with a short woman. "Hey guys," said Rogue calmly. "These are the idiots- and Kitty- that Ah told ya about." She pointed at the people.

"Rogue makes friends everywhere she, like, goes," said Kitty, perky again.

"Okay, guys, this is Moira," said Rogue, pointing at the woman. "It's weird, but she's exactly who we're supposed ta be lookin' for."

"Hello," said Moira, looking fascinated by the three newcomers. "You're Xavier's group, then?"

"Yep," said Logan. "Can we get this over with?"

Moira led them down a path to a large, castle-ish building.

"What's up with ya?" asked Rogue as they followed her.

"I've just had to spend an afternoon with Gumbo and Elf discussin' Europe," said Logan. "Think about it, Stripes."

Rogue stifled a laugh. "Oh, Ah see," she said, knowing that both Kurt and Remy were looking grumpy for the same reason.

Moira took them into the castle and into a large lab. She held up a small watch. "This is it," she said. "I think it should block mutant powers." She held it out to Rogue, who grabbed it. "But-"

Rogue fiddled with a bit and then there was a high-pitched beep. "Weird," said Rogue, blinking.

"But there's-"

"How 'bout we test it, den?" said Remy, and kissed Rogue.

There was a thud as Remy hit the ground.

Rogue staggered back a few steps, squeaking as one of her gloves blew up. "It always seems t' be worse on de lips," she muttered, her accent mottled with Cajun. "Why didn't it work?"

"I did try to warn you," said Moira. "I wasn't **positive**. There's a- well, there's a piece missing."

"So y' knew it wouldn' work?" said Rogue, trying not to touch anything.

"No," said Moira, her tone patient, "I thought it might work without it but it seems not." She sighed. "This isn't good."

"Why not?" asked Kitty.

"I can't acquire the piece with the resources open to me." She gave them a crooked smile. "In other words, no funding."

"Why don't we, like, get it?" asked Kitty, who was phasing anything Rogue charged so it wouldn't explode.

"It's rather expensive," replied Moira.

"The professor could pay for it," Kurt suggested .

"You know, that's a good idea.." said Moira, looking thoughtful.

Logan handed her a cell phone. "Chuck's on speed dial," he said.

"Wh- Oh, you mean Charles," said Moira.

"That's what I said," Logan agreed.

Moira blinked but hit the button and began a fervent discussion with the professor after a minute.

A few minutes later she hung up. "It's settled then. All you have to do is collect the piece and bring it back to me," said Moira, smiling. "It'll be easy to fix."

"So, where're we going?" asked Kurt.

"Germany, to a jewelers," said Moira.

Kurt gave a loud groan. "I'm doomed," he said, looking at the ground as though begging it to swallow him.

"Ah, it's, like, not that big of a deal, fuzzy!" said Kitty, perkiness intact. "We can, like, stay with your family!"

"That's what I'm afraid of," replied Kurt.

"Did it work?" asked a voice from the floor.

"Remy, t'ink 'bout it. Y're passed out on de floor and 'm talkin' like y'," said Rogue.

"Now what?" asked Remy, standing up.

"Now we go to Germany, and end this little field trip," said Logan.

Moira gave them a benevolent smile. "Wonderful." She walked over to a file cabinet and took out a map of Germany. She pointed at a city. "The jeweler's shop is right here." She handed the map to Logan and escorted them out.

"How're we suppose to get there now?" asked Kurt, looking as though he was hoping there wasn't an answer to that.

"Private landing strip," Moira confessed. "It'll be a bit of a wait for a flight, but it's not long." She led them out back, where there were several different kind of jets parked.

"Where'd y' get those?" asked Rogue, looking impressed. She was a bit more cheerful now that she wasn't blowing up everything she touched and her accent was returning.

"I invented them," said Moira. "Lovely way to get a discount, don't you think?"

Remy looked rather green as he gazed at the jets. "More jets. _Magnefique._"

"Round three!" cried Rogue, Kitty, and Kurt in unison.

"SHUT UP!!!"

"What are they talking about?" whispered Moira to Logan as she passed him the keys to one of the jets.

"It's a long story, darlin'," said Logan, smirking.

(I do hope that was up to snuff. Next chapter: More of Remy's eternal battle against the plane and Kurt's adoptive parents! Oh, the fun to be had my kidlets!)


	3. Aren't foster families fun?

(An: Whee... reviews... (yes I've been on the cold meds and watching Yellow Submarine.. a lot.. shut up)... All of Kurt's past is gleaned from the InterNutter, who is either completely making it up or bothered to look it up in canon. Just in case you haven't figured it out with a rudimentary knowledge of German, Katja and Anja are pronounced like Katya and Anya. Got that?

S-O-C: Ooh, Drammamines nice.. I myself don't get car or airsick but it shuts my mum up and she does so it's nice.

Di: You promise? I'm getting eaten alive with begs for updates here.

HH: I was terrified that I'd get a flame shouting "Oh Moira's not like that you got it all wrong you SUCK.." but I didn't so I feel special.

Remember, when you review, I feel special, and when I feel special I write more.. it's a vicious but tidy cycle.)

Remy was curled up in a ball in the corner of the jet. Moira had suggested the position and had said if it didn't work to please not get sick on her nice shiny jet. He let out a soft moan. According to Moira, the jet was designed for speed and was still in an early stage. She had yet to work out something that would prevent the violent turbulence that went with a ride.

"Score one for the plane!" said Kurt, who marked down a tally on a list labeled Remy vs. The Plane. There were about thirteen tally marks under The Plane column, and three under Remy. He had started this little tally out of sheer and utter boredom. There weren't any speakers in the plane either. Speed, not comfort, remember?

"Shut up!" said Remy, and then looked as though he seriously regretted it.

"Score another!" cried Kurt and dutifully marked it down.

"AUGH!" screamed Remy and then grabbed the bag Rogue offered him.

Kurt fell backwards off his seat in a muffled fit of laughter, trying not to attract Remy's attention. Remy however was much too busy throwing up to notice it.

Kitty reached over and ticked off a tally. "That's fifteen, you owe me a buck," she said.

Kurt still couldn't speak.

Logan, up in the front, shook his head. "Kids," he muttered.

A FEW HOURS LATER, ALMOST GERMANY

Kurt was fidgeting quietly, trying not to scream.

"Elf. Calm DOWN," said Logan, glaring at him for a second.

"But it's my **family**," said Kurt, his tail thrashing. "This is like the me equivalent of Remy's trip down South."

"Hey, at least your family ain't tryin' t' fix y' up wit' a leech," said Remy, leaning against the wall. He had emptied his stomach but was feeling only slightly better.

"Yeah, but if they figure out _Katzchen's_ my girlfriend.. I'm doomed," said Kurt. "And they've got some kind of 'Kurt sense' when it comes to things like that."

"Elf," said Logan. "Shut up and sit still. We'll deal with it when we get there, got it?"

Kurt instantly went still. You didn't argue with Logan when he was looking at you like that. "Yessir."

"Wow, you've got him **trained**," said Remy, clearly impressed.

Kurt got the distinct impression that Logan was doing his best to hide a smirk.

GERMANY, NEAR THE BLACK FOREST

"I'm doomed I'm doomed I'm doomed," said Kurt, repeating a soft litany over and over again.

"SHUT UP!" cried Rogue and Logan at the same time.

"I'm telling you, there's, like, a definite resemblance," said Kitty to Remy.

"And 'm sayin' dat's just scary, ok? So please, for what's left of m' sanity, drop it, hmm, _petite_?" replied Remy, looking scared at the thought.

"What are you guys talking about?" asked Rogue as they stepped out of the jet.

"Nothing," said Kitty and Remy in unison, both trying and failing to look innocent.

Rogue gave them a suspicious look but let the subject drop.

"Please tell me we're going away from Heirelgart?" asked Kurt as Logan pulled out the map Moira'd given him.

"No, actually, it's exactly where we're goin'," said Logan. "Why?"

"I'm from Heirelgart. Just you guys wait. The second we walk into that town I'll be ambushed," said Kurt, in the tone of someone walking down death row.

"But how could they, like, recognize you with the inducer?" asked Kitty, as Logan led them down the road toward a small village.

"The inducer'll set them off a bit but just wait until the centaurs see me," said Kurt.

"De what?" asked Remy.

"Kurt says there're centaurs and elves in tha Black Forest," said Rogue, rolling her eyes.

"It's true!" said Kurt, bobbing his head. "The elves might just be a rumour though."

"And dey say 'm crazy," muttered Remy.

They arrived at the town. As soon as they started down the main road, Kurt was tackled into a bush by three girls of various ages, all squealing "Kurti!!"

"GET OFF ME!" yelled Kurt.

The three girls didn't look at all dismayed as they stood up. The oldest one flicked a strand of brown hair out of her face and smiled at the others, who were staring at them, looking confused. "Who're your friends?" she asked Kurt.

"I'd TELL you but I'm kind of stuck," said Kurt, trying and failing to extricate himself from a bush. He bamfed so he was perching on top of it. "All right." He pointed at each of the others as he spoke. "Remy, Rogue, Kitty, and Logan."

"Isn't Rogue our half-sister?" asked the blond one, cocking her head.

"Yes but don't-" said Kurt hurriedly.

The three girls tackled her, the oldest managing to get a grip around Rogue's neck and getting zapped.

"Oh- Oh _mein Gott,_ I'm sorry!" said Rogue, hands at her mouth and speaking in a distinctly German accent now. "Oh man, am I speaking German now?"

"_Oui,_" said Remy, helping the girl to her feet.

She looked rather dazed. "Wha-?"

"I tried to warn you," said Kurt. "Rogue absorbs people, remember?"

"No, not really," said the one who'd gotten zapped. "Should we've?"

Kurt ignored that comment and introduced his foster sisters. "Katja," he pointed at the youngest, who had yet to speak, "Anja," he pointed at the brown haired one, who'd gotten zapped, "and Erika," he pointed at the blond one.

"Oh, look, the prodigal son's finally come home," said a voice in unaccented English. The four X-men turned to face the speaker and couldn't quite cope with what they saw. Leaning against the bush and smirking was a blond centaur. Yes, a half-man, half-horse.

"Glad to see you too, Andrei," muttered Kurt.

"Oh, guys, this is Andrei," said Kurt, pointing at him.

"They act as if they've never seen a centaur before," said Andrei, sounding amused.

"...We haven't," said Rogue faintly.

"**Really,**" said Andrei, smirking worse than ever now.

"Leave them alone, 'Drei," said Kurt, walking over to him.

"So what brings you back to our little neck of the Black Forest?" asked Andrei.

"We're getting a part for a negater for Rogue," said Kurt, jerking a thumb at her.

"A what?" asked Andrei and the three sisters in unison.

"Somethin' that'll block mah powers," said Rogue, glad to be able to say something that didn't make her feel like an idiot. Well, a complete one, anyway.

"Ah," said the sisters. "You want Mama?" asked the youngest, Erika.

"N-" said Kurt but it was too late; the sisters had already rushed off to inform Astrid Wagner of Kurt's arrival. "I'm so doomed."

Andrei was eying Kitty curiously. Kitty was staring back. "This your girlfriend?" he asked, indicating her.

"I was hoping you wouldn't find out," said Kurt, his voice muffled by his hands.

"She smells like you all over," said Andrei. "Can't hide things from centaurs."

The others watched this exchange, silent and just a little bit confused (for little bit read 'utterly and completely').

"Please don't tell anyone?" begged Kurt, moving his fingers so Andrei could see the pleading expression in his yellow eyes.

"What'll you give me if I don't?" asked Andrei, looking pleased to be in a position of power.

"I won't tell anyone who **really **started the 'noodle incident'," said Kurt, his tone casual.

Andrei gasped as though this were some grave threat. "You wouldn't DARE," he breathed.

"What's the noodle incident?" asked Kitty, curious.

"Something Andrei-" started Kurt.

He was cut off by Andrei's cry of "No one can PROVE I was involved in that!" as he reared on his back legs in indignation.

"Down boy," said Kurt, smirking.

Andrei went back to all fours, giving Kurt a death glare.

"He's good," whispered Rogue to Remy.

Remy nodded.

"All right, all right, I'll stay quiet," muttered Andrei.

"Centaurs are **so** touchy," said Kurt to his friends, grinning at them.

Logan hadn't said a word during the whole thing.

"Hello, earth to badger?" asked Remy, snapping his fingers in front of his face.

Logan didn't even blink.

"We've lost him," said Remy. "Who's got de champagne? We need t' celebrate dis moment."

"Shut up," said Rogue. "Logan, sugah, ya in there?"

Logan uttered something like, "Mip."

"She never calls m' sugar," said Remy, looking depressed.

"Oh dear," said Rogue. "Ah think it's too much stimulation for him, poor guy."

"He can handle people who can throw just about anything at him and not blink, but he sees one centaur and my little sisters and he freaks," said Kurt, shaking his head.

Katja, Anja, and Erika returned, a man and a woman following. Kurt looked around, trying to find something to hide behind, but it was just a tad late; Astrid and Johannes Wagner, in other words, Kurt's adoptive parents, had spotted him.

Kurt ducked behind Kitty. "Hide me," he squeaked.

Astrid walked up to them, smiling. "Hello, Kurt," she said. "It's no use hiding."

Kitty closed her eyes for a second and Kurt fell through her, landing on the ground for the second time that day with an undignified thump. "_Guten tag,_ mama," said Kurt, resigned. He stood up, brushing himself off with as much dignity as he could muster.

The three girls approached, hiding giggles behind their hands.

"_Clappe,_" said Kurt to them.

"So what brings you back?" asked Johannes, eyeing the X-people.

Kurt took a deep breath and launched into an explanation, pointing out people as he went, "Ok-Rogue-can't-control-her-powers-so-the-professor-found-out-about-a-thingy-that-could-block-them-so-he-sent-Remy-Kitty-Logan-her-and-me-to-go-get-it-but-there-was-a-piece-missing-and-the-jeweler-here-has-it. Got all that?"

The Wagners blinked, then nodded. "It's so nice to have you home," said Astrid, giving Rogue, as a member of her family, a throurough inspection.

Rogue stared at her. "Does everyone feel the need ta stare at meh all of a sudden?!" she snapped.

"We're trying to find a resemblance," said Katja.

"You won't," said Kurt. "My dear mother got around you see. I practically have to ask a girl for her birth certificate before I date her." He squeaked, realizing he'd just said the wrong thing.

"You go on dates?" asked all of the Wagners in unison. Andrei gave up and leaned against the hedge again, snorting in horse-ish laughter.

"I'm doomed..."

(Heh heh, fun with family! Next chapter: More fun with the Wagners and the centaur population, and another attempt at the power negater! Is it really that easy, though? Of course not, I'm plugging for length, you neener heads! Now, let's see if I can get even close to the same response I got for the first one. I really would like reviews.)


	4. Do jewelers have to be short or somethin...

(An: I'm glad with the good response I'm getting for this. I skipped a few updates because I was trying to make sprite comics. That's way harder than it sounds, really. And then of course I had a little brain skip with some bursts of inspiration... sadly not for this story but I'll be prompter.

Di: Didn't I give you a response? If I didn't, je suis desole, mon ami. (Did I spell that right?) And I'm still waiting on those updates.. ;)

HH: Compliments? Oh how nice.

TheRogueAuthor: I wondered if anyone was going to pick up on that... I read a collection the day before I wrote it and I couldn't resist...

Tsugath: ...Kitty/centaur? Now -there's-a paring I've never heard of. -daydreams- They would have interesting children.

Ishy: I don't like to torture Kurti! -huggles mini-blue elf- But then again I drag him into my stories so I guess that's bad enough.. -grin-

Fudje: With Kurt, who knows?

SperryDee: Andrei is the centaur. Did I forget to mention that?

Sick-minded Sucker: They aren't. At least, I think they aren't. The "burning" incident happened in another sound. Heirelgart is supposed to be used to Kurt.. that's what I picked up from the 'Nutter anyway.

S-O-C: Yes Kurt's family is so fun to mess with. As is Kurt in general. It's so -easy- to give him a complex, you see.. -evil grin-

ME: That would be truly creepy since he's an animated character and I'm assuming you're not.. unless you're from some freaky alternate uni... you're not, right?

Totally Obsessed47: More compliments! I burst with joy, really.)

THE WAGNER HOME, ABOUT A HALF-HOUR LATER

"I see," said Astrid Wagner as Kurt finished his full explanation. She shook her head, smiling. "My Kurti's growing up."

Kurt face-palmed, trying to hide his blush at the childish nickname. It worked pretty well, seeing as it was hard to see it anyway, with the fur and all.

"So Kitty's your girlfriend?" asked all three Wagner sisters in unison.

Kurt poked Kitty with his tail under the table. "Run while you still can," he advised in a whisper.

Rogue and Remy were both staring up at the ceiling.

"Is there something up there?" asked Johannes, also looking up.

"We find ceilings fascinating," said Rogue and Remy in unison.

Kurt shrugged at his family and mouthed, "Southerners."

"So, we really do need to get going," said Kurt.

Astrid and Johannes nodded. "Then begone," they said in unison and gestured at the door.

The X-people gave a group blink and, hesitantly, followed Kurt out the door. "Kurt," whispered Kitty, "no offense but your family's, like... odd."

Kurt gave a grim nod. "I know. That's why I try to go alone on my trips to Germany. Then I don't have to try to explain my family's... quirks."

"So where's this place?" asked Rogue.

"There's only one street in Heirelgart," Kurt pointed out as he led them down said street.

The jeweler's was a small shop. Kurt walked in. "Hello?" he asked.

"Coming!" came a small voice in German from the back of the shop. The voice belonged to an equally small man, with huge eyes that were magnified by the thick glasses he was wearing. He tilted his head back for a second to view them before scrambling onto a stool, from which he perched, blinking at them.

"Things've changed," Kurt whispered to his friends. "The other jeweler was much shorter."

The man cast a curious eye over the teenagers. "Is there something I can help you with?" he asked in English, his accent as thick as his glasses.

"Moira McTaggert sent us to pick up a piece," said Logan, now that he was assured of his sanity. He unfolded a picture of it and handed it to the jeweler.

He inspected it, holding it about an inch from his face. "Ah, yes, the power negater." He sprang down from his stool and walked into the back of the shop again, gesturing for them to follow. He had filing cabinets lining the walls in the back room, towering up to the ceiling. He pushed a rolling ladder that was about four times his height to one of them, muttering to himself as he walked.

He climbed up the ladder, opening a cabinet. "No, not there," he murmered. He jumped down from the ladder and for a second the others in the room thought he might shatter.

He took out a binder that was more or less his size and flipped through it. "Ah, there we go," he said. He walked back over to the ladder and repeated the process, this time with a cry of triumph when he opened the cabinet. He slid down the ladder this time, holding a small piece. He led them back into the front. "You can pay, I'm sure?" he asked, squinting up at Logan.

Logan pulled out Xavier's credit card. "You take these?"

The little man bobbed his head exitedly. "Of course!" He looked as though his brain might pop from excitement.

He carefully wrapped up the little square shaped whatever and handed it to Logan. He then explained a number of complicated things about how it worked, which everyone ignored.

"Well, dat wasn't so bad," Remy commented as they walked out.

Rogue was grinning, which everyone but Remy found rather creepy.

They walked back to the jet. Remy balked, remembering the not-so-nice ride there. Kurt and Kitty opened their mouths and Remy glared at him. "Either of y' make one comment and I'll blow up all your Beatles albums and Lockheed, got dat?"

Both teens squeaked and shut up.

"I think ya finally got 'em trained, Rem," said Rogue.

Remy didn't answer, as the jet was taking off.

Things would've been uneventful the rest of the way except that Logan had to veer to avoid a 747 and accidentally flew the jet into a fast-moving storm.

Needless to say, there was a good bit of turbulence.

Also needless to say, Kitty was doing a lot of accidental phasing.

And just as needless to say, one of those things was the part for the power negater.

There was a nasty sqizerk sound as the jet righted itself. Kitty blinked, and then realized what she'd done. "Omigodomigodomigod! Rogue I'm like so sorry-it-was-a-total-like-accident-omigod!"

"Kitty. Calm. Down," said Rogue. "It's. OK. We can just go back to that guy... right?"

No one answered. Logan was too busy controlling the jet, Kurt was too busy regaining his composure, Kitty was too busy having a "like" attack, and Remy was much too busy throwing up.

BACK AT THE JEWELERS

As it turned out, right wasn't right at all.

"I'm very sorry," said the jeweler with a rueful shrug. "I wish I could help you but I'm out. I don't have the parts to make a new one."

"Seems like dat's constantly our problem, eh, _chere_?" Remy murmered near Rogue's ear.

"Yep," said Rogue, her tone grim. "All right, where can we get tha parts for this?"

The jeweler blinked. "England."

"Oh, **fab**," said Kitty and Rogue in unison. Their respective boyfriends and Logan looked rather creeped out. The jeweler just looked confused.

"Ah think I bumped inta her in the plane," said Rogue with a shrug at the boys' stares.

Both guys nodded in comprehension.

"If you would collect them, I could make a new one," said the jeweler. He pulled another one of those gigantic binders off a shelf and thumbed through it. He copied something down in a notebook, ripped out the page, and handed it to Logan. "The parts can be found at that address." He handed them a map of England.

The group walked out.

"Nobody here's from England, right?" asked Remy.

(I think that was a tad short but it's normal length for me. Next chapter: Fun with Excalibur! If anyone could reccomend a good info site it would be greatly appreciated since my knowledge is somewhat choppy.)


	5. Isn't that weird?

(An: Here I go again.. run while you all can.. All righty I looked up Excalibur.. damn it was hard. Ha! Score! I found a whole website on the thing! ...and what I have discovered is that 'mic drawings are really weird. I've messed with Excalibur to suit my idiot comical needs.)

"This is it?" asked all four teens in unison, staring at the lighthouse.

"I would think so, since it's what's at the address," said Logan, also staring at the lighthouse.

"Can we help you with something?" asked a slightly bored sounding Brit, standing nearby.

"Um, yeah, we're lookin' fer-"

"Kitty?!" asked a vaguely familiar Scottish voice. A short girl with red hair came strolling around from the back, blinking at them all.

Kitty, Rogue, and Kurt squinted at her. Scottish girl.. red hair.. vaguely familiar..

Rahne rolled her eyes and muttered, "3... 2... 1..."

"Rahne?!" said all of the afore-mentioned people. Remy just looked confused.

"Yeah, it's me, ye dafties!" said Rahne, grinning now.

"You know these people?!" asked the Brit, looking as if not more confused as Remy.

"Yeah, ye know, the X-men?"

"...No..." said the Brit, blinking as though he knew the name but couldn't quite place it.

"Ye're an idiot," said Rahne, shaking her head in an affectionate manner.

"You can say that again. Who's the idiot this time?" asked another voice. Another girl with red hair came out from the back of the lighthouse.

"Brian, duh," said Rahne.

"Um... what's goin' on?" asked Remy.

Rahne rolled her eyes. "Who's the newbie?"

"...Me?" asked Remy, blinking.

"This is Remy," said Rogue, looking as though she was trying not to laugh.

"Uh-huh," said Rahne, nodding. "Oh, this is Brian and Rachel. Where's Pete?"

Another Brit stuck his head out of the lighthouse. "Someone call me?"

"And this is Pete," said Rahne.

"Ok, so, who are they?" asked Brian.

"Kurt, Kitty, Logan, Rogue, and.. Remy, right?"

Remy nodded, looking just a little bit dazed. "'M missin' somethin' here, ain't I?"

"So why are you people here?" asked Rachel, leaning against the wall of the lighthouse.

"We're here to get some.. things for a thing that'll make another thing work," said Kitty.

"Well that was informative," said Rahne. "Pete- Pete?" She snapped her fingers in his face.

Pete was looking quite dazed. He was staring at Kitty, his eyes wide.

"PETE!" yelled Rachel and Rahne in unison.

"Eh wha?" asked Pete, blinking.

"Open the door," said Rahne.

"Right," said Pete, looking as though he was desperately trying to salvage his dignity. He did as he was told, stepping aside.

"So what is this place?" asked Kurt, looking around as they walked inside.

"The headquarters for Excalibur," said Brian, looking relieved to be back in his element.

"What?" asked all of the X-men in unison.

"This is going to take a while, isn't it," said Rachel.

"Aye," said Rahne, shaking her head.

"Ok, so why are you people here?" asked Brian.

Pete smacked him on the arm, apparently able to speak again. "Don't question fate," he said softly. "At least, not when it walks in your door and talks in a valley girl accent." He was still staring at Kitty.

"You've lost it, haven't you mate?"

"Uh, we're lookin' for parts to this thing," said Rogue, pulling out the picture of the power negater piece. "Some guy in Germany said you'd have the parts for it."

Brian grabbed it, then it was taken by Rahne, Rachel, and then Pete. "Oooh, that thing," they all said in unison.

"Pete.. Pete... PETE!" said Brian. He had to yell even though he was right near said Brit's ear.

"What?" asked Pete, still in that soft, dazed tone.

"Go find the nice people's parts," said Rachel. "Ok, Petey love?" She gave him a gentle push and he walked off.

"Don't say that. It's creepy," said Rahne.

"All right, who are you people?" asked Logan.

"We could ask you the same question," Brian pointed out.

"Shut up," said Rachel. "We're Excalibur, a bunch of bored mutants who patrol Britain smashing bad guys. And harrassing our fearless leader here, of course." She pointed at Brian, who glared at her.

"So how'd you, like, end up here?" asked Kitty to Rahne.

Rahne shrugged. "Moira came here sometimes and she brought me."

"Am I de only one jus' a little bit confused?" asked Remy.

"We're all confused mate. Get used to it," said Brian.

"Do I know you?" asked Remy, blinking.

Brian was spared having to answer that question when Pete came back, holding a little bag. "Uh, here," he said, shoving the bag into Rogue's hands, not taking his eyes off Kitty.

"Are you, like, ok?" asked Kitty, completely oblivious.

"I-" Pete began.

He was cut off by the other members of Excalibur replying, "NO."

"Is that it?" asked Brian.

"Yep," said Rogue.

There was a very loud, irate beeping sound from one of the rooms in the back.

"Oh great, Douglocke crashed again," said Rachel. "I'll go reboot him."

"Who?" asked Logan.

"He's a combination cyborg/warlocke," Rahne informed them with a sage nod.

"Uh-huh," said the X-teens in unison. Logan just looked confused.

"Bye!" said Pete breathlessly. The X-group was pretty sure it was directed at Kitty, but they couldn't be sure since his eyes were unfocused.

Kurt let out a faint growl as they got back into the jet. Remy let out a faint moan as well, but that's not the point. Kurt's growl is what's relevant.

"What's, like, up with you?" asked Kitty, blinking.

"He was hitting on you," said Kurt.

"Who?" asked Kitty, Rogue, and Logan at the same time. Remy might've said it too, but Logan was taking off, so you get the idea.

"That Pete guy," said Kurt, strangling the air and looking as though he wished it were that Pete guy's neck.

"He was, like, so not," said Kitty. "You're not, like jealous, are you?"

"Who, me?" asked Kurt, doing his best "innocent" look.

"He was kind of, like, cute, though," said Kitty, her tone thoughtful.

"WHAT?!" asked Kurt.

"Like, relax, Kurt," said Kitty, laughing.

"I hate you," he informed her.

"I, like, know, ain't it, like, great?"

(And that's that.)


	6. Shall We Dance?

(An: I forgot to mention.. this is the last chapter. Ain't that sad?)

S-O-C: This one's just a tad late, but my mini-swamp rat just got back from his vacation. He thanks you for the Drammamine and plans to join you as soon as his ego shrinks enough to fit in the scanner.

Ishy: I like Pete too. He's fun to mess with. -nods-

HH: You have the right to do anythin'. Except rape sheep, but that's an injoke that we won't go into, hmm?

SSS: I -love- messing with group situations. It seems to me like after a certain point, living in a lighthouse with a bunch of crazy people would make anyone rebellious.. or look for an easy target, mwa-haha...

"And we're back again," said Kurt, looking at the town of Heirelgart as though it might suddenly spring to life and eat him.

"Aw, Kurt, it's not, like, that bad," said Kitty. "Your family's, like, totally cool! And that centaur was kind of cute..."

"IS EVERYONE CUTER THAN ME?!" cried Kurt, looking up at the sky as though begging it for justice.

"Yep," said Kitty and Rogue in unison.

"DON'T DO THAT!" shouted Remy and Logan at the same time. Both looked horrified by the prospect of having the same thought and edged away from each other.

"Ok, we have SO got to start hanging around other people," said Kitty, shaking her head as they walked down into the city.

Kurt looked as though he might cry. "Nobody loves the fuzzy man," he said mournfully.

"Nope, get used t' it," said Remy, patting his friend's back. "If y've got a girlfriend, she's goin' t' ignore y'."

"Come on, ya idiots!" shouted Rogue, waving at the guys, who'd fallen behind.

"The things we do for love," said both men in unison and followed a little bit faster.

There were, thankfully, no incidents involving horny centaurs or Kurt's relatives. Kurt tried to show his thankfullness properly, but Kitty wouldn't let him. She threatened to take away his ceiling-macking rights.

Rogue walked into the jeweler's, trying not to do a little victory dance.

She put the little bag on the jeweler's desk. The jeweler blinked up at her, then snatched the bag and walked into the back room. There was the loud sound of hammering, drilling, things being smashed, and an explosion.

"That can't be good..." said Rogue, looking apprehensive.

There was a banging sound, and then a satisfied sigh. The jeweler came back out, holding up a replica of the piece Kitty'd shorted out. "Here you go," he said, smiling at them. "No charge. There's a warranty, after all." He nodded sagely at them, then shooed the- ugh- teenagers out of his nice shop.

"Now we can finally end this sadistic little field trip," said Logan. "Praise.. whoever ya wanna praise."

"Can't we take a boat dis time? I like boats."

"NO!"

A FEW HOURS LATER, MUIR ISLAND

"So ye finally got the part, then," said Moira as the X-group walked into her lab.

"Well, there was this little incident with-"

"I know. Rahne told me aaaaall about it," Moira interupted with a faint smile.

She took the part. There were several banging sounds and a sizzly noise as she put it in the negater. "There we go," she said, inspecting her work. "Now it'll work."

Rogue snatched it and put it on. She pressed a few buttons and was rewarded with a high-pitched beep. "Ah'm nevah goin' ta get used ta that," she said, blinking.

"Is it working?" asked Moira, flipping through a few papers. She looked up when there was no answer. "..Rogue?"

Rogue didn't answer. She was too busy making out with Remy.

"Don't bother," said Logan. "They'll be at it for hours. Gotta make up fer lost time."

Moira nodded, looking a little bit scared. "Um, you can take the jet back to Xavier. I was plannin' to visit anyway." She handed him the keys and looked as though she wanted nothing more than to have the creepy X-people out of her lab.

Remy and Rogue kept on making out all the way up into the jet.

"Aren't you guys, like, forgetting something?" asked Kitty, tapping Rogue's shoulder. "Like, maybe, **breathing?!**"

"We're busy," they said, breaking it off for a second. Then they went right back to business.

"Well, don't, like, blame me if you two, like, pass out," she muttered.

"You know, I'd do the same for you, _Katzchen,_" said Kurt. "That is, if everyone on the planet weren't cuter than the fuzzy man."

"Oh, like, get over yourself, Kurt," Kitty replied. They started macking.

"Remember, bubs, Chuck likes kids, but he don't like kids havin' kids," said Logan as he got into the pilot's seat.

"**Yuck**," said both girls, looking disgusted by the idea.

Both boys just looked rather intrigued.

The trip back was quiet, mainly because this ride was much smoother and all four X-people were macking like there was no tommorrow.

Logan rolled his eyes, muttering to himself about "kids these days."

BACK AT THE X-MANSION

Nobody paid much mind when Logan came in growling and muttering about needing a beer, or batted an eye when Kitty and Kurt climbed the walls to make out on the ceiling.

What caught their attention was Rogue and Remy, macking with no sort of protection (that would be something to block skin-on-skin, not like a condom.. yuck) and stumbling off in the general direction of the roof.

"Scott... SCOTT!" said Jean, who was sitting on the couch with said Scooter.

Scott, who was asleep behind those creepy red shades of his, awoke with a start. "Who's dead?!" he asked, looking as though he was blinking confusedly from behind his glasses.

"....Why would someone be dead?" asked Kitty and Kurt from the ceiling.

"Get down from there! That's just creepy!" said Jean.

"Dominatrix," muttered Kitty before Kurt bamfed them off to a less crowded ceiling.

"Who's dead?!" demanded Scott.

"No one's dead," said Jean.

"Well then, why'd you wake me?"

"Because of that," said Jean, pointing to where Remy and Rogue were having slight problems getting through a doorway while attached at the mouth.

"Oh," said Scott. There was a thump as he fell off the couch.

"Scott? ...Sco-ott... Where'd he go?" asked Jean, confused.

"I hate breathing," Rogue said as she and Remy broke off for maybe.. the second time that hour.

"Yeah, but den we'd be dead," said Remy as he climbed the ladder up to the roof.

"Ya come up here a lot or somethin'?" asked Rogue, looking around atop the roof.

"Yep," said Remy, a grim tone to his voice. "Only place where Logan'll let m' drink his beer, up here."

Rogue rolled her eyes. She glanced down at the ground when she heard a bamf, then rolled her eyes again as she saw Kitty and Kurt climb a tree for some quality mack time. "Is it impossible to get some privacy around here?" she asked as Kurt waved.

"Wave back," said Remy, fiddling with something.

"Yah're crazy," said Rogue, sitting down. "Yah're all crazy, and it's spread ta me due ta constant exposure."

"So y' finally figured it out den?" asked Remy, seeming satisfied with.. whatever he was doing. "Dere we go," he muttered, and pressed a button. He pulled Rogue to her feet. "Now, den, shall we dance, _ma chere?_"

"Ah didn't spend two days with ya lettin' ya torture me for nothin'," was Rogue's reply.

Kitty and Kurt paused in their mack session for a moment to stare at Rogue and Remy. They were waltzing on the roof, soft piano-y music coming from a small stereo.

Kitty shook her head. "And they say we're, like, strange," she said.

"_Ja_," said Kurt. "Maybe I should give her birth control for her next birthday..."

"**Ku-urt,**" said Kitty, making a face. "Anyway, by then it'll probably be too late..."

Kurt was spared having to reply to that abhorrent idea by the continuation of their macking.

(And that's that! I just -may- do a sequel and make this into a trilogy.. if I get bored enough and get permission to borrow Daph from Di.. if I do it'll be called "Shall We Flirt?" and involve jealousy, noodle bombs, and of course, macking on the ceiling... Bye! Read and review!)


End file.
